Dec. 23, 2010

Hello all, I thought I would take a few minutes to update you on our adventure. 

Surgery went very well on Monday the 20th. We found out that when you are in a trauma center your surgery can & does get bumped back for trauma patients that need surgery.  So mine was a bit later in the afternoon.  I came home that night.  They only took out one lymph node and it was clear so they didn’t take any more.  Time wise, surgery was just about 2 hours long.  A few hours later and after a few bouts of nausea and an IV drip bag of fenegren to stop that I was ready to go home.  We got home at about 9pm.  Lortab is my current drug of choice. 

Tuesday I felt great, a false sense of great because yesterday (Wed) I pretty much just slept all day and didn’t feel all so great.  After a good day & night of rest, this morning was much better.  Last night I did have a blood clot in my drainage tube.  We cleared it out but had to go in this morning to have it checked and there was another clot in the tube that we couldn’t see.  After a quick fix from the doctor I was draining quite nicely again.  Hopefully that will all be done by Monday and the tube can come out.   I wasn’t really paying attention as the nurse was removing the dressing.  Then there I was looking at this foreign looking scar on my chest.  It took a second to realize what I was seeing.  I was surprised.  I had imagined that I would have a dramatic mental breakdown the first time seeing myself post surgery.  It wasn’t as bad as I expected but then you really have no idea what to expect.  Maybe later I’ll feel something more than fascination.  Yep. I am fascinated with the whole thing.  I know that I have many good and bad days ahead of me but I know that I can power through.  The body amazes me with its ability to heal and the mind that can quickly accept things for what they are and move on.  Bill didn’t turn green or pass out either.  He has been such strength to me and our kids.  When I have been afraid he has comforted me, let me cry, made me laugh, kept me going, assured me that he does still love me when my thoughts are running wild. 

I do need to keep pacing myself with rest and being up.  I do tire quickly but I also get tired of resting.  I’ve got to work on finding a good balance there.  I’m so grateful for the phone calls, e-mails and notes of support and love.  We do so appreciate them.  The Lord has truly blessed us so far and continues to do so daily.  I told my brother that I can’t call this cancer a blessing yet, but because of it we have been recipients of so many blessings.   Each day I tell myself to look for the new things I’m supposed to learn that day.  I can’t tell you how much I have learned or been reminded of things that I need to be reminded of.. Each day is an adventure now.  I see things in my life differently.  No great life altering, earth shattering differences, just simple things.  I am much more aware of how much I love my family.  I find pure joy in my grand children’s little voices.  I feel more patient, we’ll see if I really am.  I see my children, all adults now, for the amazing adults they are. 

They do have the love of Christ within them as well as their father.  Anyway, I’m truly grateful for the testimony that I have of our Savior Jesus Christ and our Loving Heavenly Father.  I’m so grateful to have the gospel in my life.  I’m so grateful to know that I have a purpose here on this earth and that my Heavenly Father knows me personally by name.  He will never be far from me as long as I am never too far from Him.  I wish the best for everyone this Christmas and hope that you all have a fantastic day.  We love you all.

Terri