AGAIN WITH THE DRAIN?????

Yep, again with the drain.  My body seems to like creating extra fluid where it doesn't belong.  I am still having an issue with a constant build up of fluid that should have stopped a week after surgery.  So, this week they put in one more drain and will leave it in for at least a week.  I'll have it checked on Tuesday and if they want they will leave it in for another week as long as there is no sign of infection.  Right now I'm holding steady at 20-25 cc a day.  It doesn't matter if I'm still and don't do anything or if I'm busy doing all my normal stuff.  I can't not use my left hand or arm nor can I not be stretching it and working the skin and muscles in the area(carefully) that need to be worked so they don't become too hard and too much scar tissue develops.  I don't do any heavy lifting because I do feel the pull and ouch that comes with that.  However I've past the point where they know what to do with me.  So we'll see what they think on Tuesday and go from there.  If they decide to try one more week, OK.  The other option is to take the drain out and let me fill up.  Maybe if I just let myself fill up as much as it wants there will be a point where the body will say "the space is full we can stop now".  Then hopefully all by itself it will begin to absorb all the fluid back into myself and go away gradually.  So I have the main scar which has healed great.  It looks like a very thin pink pencil line.  Then I have (2) soon to be (3) 1/2" long brown spots from the other drains.  Then I have little pink & brown spots from every needle they have stuck in me to drain off the lovely fluid.  I've got quite the collection of little scars.  I bet if I tried connecting the dots I could come up with some interesting artwork.  It amazes me though how the body works.  For all the needle sticks and poking around I don't feel a thing.  They numb me just to make sure i don't feel anything when they put the drains in.  But otherwise it is an amazing thing to watch them stick a 2-3" needle in you all the way and move it around trying to find a pocket of fluid to drain and not feel a thing.  This body that we have all been given really is a work that only heavenly powers could have created.  And the marvels of modern medicine that are daily still figuring out how it all works are nothing short of God given miracles and blessings.  So I'll do what I need to do and trust that I'll continue to be blessed and when the time is right my daily routine of "draining" will come to an end.  That will be another happy day to remember.

Low numbers are great blessings!!

So, it's all good news!  My results from the big test came in and my number ws a 10 out of 100.  Which means AMAZING.....With all the factors mixed in, it means that I have a 7% chance over the next 10 years of the cancer coming back.  Or as my Oncologist said a 93% chance that it won't.  I like looking at it that way.  So this means NO CHEMO...lots of smiles today.  I do have to take an estrogen blocker drug called Arimidex once a day for the next five years along with some extra calcium and vitaminD.  This Monday the 7th I'll be having a bone density test to get a base reading.  One side affect is lose of bone mass, hence extra calcium & vit. D to keep the bones strong.  Once again I have nothing to comlpain about.   Just like when we were waiting to get the official notice that I had cancer, I had the same feelings yesterday waiting for the official news on my scores and what they mean.  You have a knowledge of what is coming so you think you have your head wrapped around the situation but when you hear the words, all of the sudden the emotions come screaming in and you loose control for a bit.  To realize how blessed I have been is humbling.  There have been times that I have felt a bit guilty in a way that I havn't suffered as much as others.  Then I realize that this is MY journey and there are things that I have learned tailor made for me alone.  Everyone has their own journy with things tailor made for them.  I can only be absolutely grateful for my outcome and do what I can with it.  I know that the congratulations and support from everyone is genuine and real and it does give me strength.  I have felt the many prayers on my behalf. I can go back to work, I can teach my Primary class, I can help my kids and play with my beautiful grand kids.  I can use this time to get my life in order and just enjoy life more.  I can spend more time with my amazing husband who has been my anchor.  I really can't describe how he has helped me.  I know that whatever it is on my mind I can share with him and trust him with my most inner thoughts and fears.  So, tomorrow I'll go get the my new pills and add them to the ones I take now and begin a new daily routine.  I have nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for.

I really have nothing to complain about

Th month has flown past and so much has happened.  I have been bound up for most of the month now.  It has been a bit irritating but really not bad.  However, despite all my best efforts I have had a continual slow fluid build up that has settled in at about 24-30 cc day.  That doesn't sound like alot but it is more than I should have.  Actually it should have stopped a couple of weks ago.  So, last monday the 17th i had another drain put in.  It worked wonders!!! It was in a little different spot thatn the first and really did a great job and pretty much did the job.  We were told that there will most likely be a bit more fluid just because sometimes it never completely stops.  So on friday they took the drain out and I was thrilled to be wrap and drain free.  However, this morning, (Sunday) I am sloshing around again AGHGHGHG.....I'll be wrapping myself again today because it takes the pressure off the area.  I really am healing well though.  The incision is healed and the top part off my chest wall is flat and tight like it should be.  Because they did a skin sparing mastectomy and there is a roll of skin at the bottom of where the breast was, that is where the fluid builds up.  It feels heavy and starts hurting after a while.  That is why the wraps help because it pushes the extra skin up close to the chest wall and I don't feel the weight of the fluid pulling down on the excess skin.  Does that make sense?  Oh well, we'll see how it goes the next day or so.  i may have to go back and have them drin me with a needle again.  That's really not as bad as it sounds either because the skin around the incision is still numb so I don't feel the needle.

Enough of that.  On Tuesday the 11th we met with the oncologist to see what the plan of attack would be after I got clearance form the Surgeon.  He explained again all of the pathology results which have all been very good.  He then said he was going to order one more test called the Oncotype DX.  This test is done at a lab in California and is the only lab in the world that does it.  The test basically goes into your cancer cells and figures out how they work.  They can tell how aggressive or not  the cancer is etc.  This test will tell them your probability of reoccurance.  From these results they place you on a scale from 1-100.  If you are on the high end then chemo and radiation etc is definately part of your plan.   If you are on the low end then probably not.  So, his belief is that I will be on the low end based on all of my other pathology results.  If that is the case I will not have to have chemo.  They have found the test to be very good so if a person has a very low risk of reoccurance then there is no need to put them through chemo.  Instead they will put you on a pill form of an anti estrigen drug to take once a day for 5 years and call it good.  If you land in the middle of the chart then they will tailor your treatment to you.  We are scheduled to meet again on Feb. 3rd unless the results come in before that.  It takes 2-3 weeks for the results to come back.  We are all praying for a LOW number. 

I can deal with an annoying fluid thing which will eventually stop.  I can deal with the mastectomy.  I have learned that I can deal with so many things because through this adventure so far, I have met and heard of so many others who have and are going through this adventure too and I consider myself extremely blessed.   The small things I am dealing with are very small in comparrison to what others are facing and dealing with.  I really have nothing to complain about!!!!!!  So I can get frustrated with a roll of sloshy skin, but I'm grateful to have it because it will make reconstruction so much better when that time comes.  I'm grateful to have had my eyes opened to this whole new world that is around us all but unless we are forced into it we can empathise with others but really don't have a clue about it.  I can't thank our Heavenly Father enough for the blessings that he has poured out on us directly but most through others.  I can't and won't begin to list them because there are too many.  The best thing I can do is to keep being grateful and doing my best to live worthy of the things I have been blessed with.  We continue to feel the peace and comfort that we prayed so hard for the first day.  He continues to guide us in the decisions that need to be made.  I feel that it is my duty now to do whatever I can to stay focused on my recovery, to learn as much as I can and to share that knowledge with others.  I feel that there is something out there that I'm supposed to be doing and I need to be quiet and listen to the direction that is given me.  I have been taught some very personal lessons through this and one of those is to act.  Act upon the promptings, feelings & randoms thoughts that pop in your head.   Don't ignore them, they are there for a reason.

Enough for today.  I pray for a LOW number.  Every day is a good day.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

So I went in this morning to have more fluid drained (60cc).  The nurse wrapped me up really tight so that the skin is tight to my chest.  It's uncomfortable.  This should slow down the fluid because there is very little space for the fluid to fill up.  I was told not to use my left arm for anything.  I'm to pretend that it's wrapped to my body and I can't move it and to ice the area again.  I'm to go in tomorrow and see if this is helping then see what the surgeon says on friday.  I thought I was pretty good at not doing much but apparantly not good enough.  You don't realaize how much you use an arm untill you can't.  I'll be really good the next few days and see if we can stop this draining stuff.  Then it will be on to the next phase.

January 3, 2011 - Happy New Year

So, here is another update.  On Monday the 27th I did have the drain tube removed since it kept clotting up and would not drain.  At that time the nurse took out a large syringe and stuck it into me and started to drain out the fluid that had me swollen and in a bit of pain.  What amazed me was that I didn't feel the needle at all.  I'm pretty much numb.  After removing 110 cc of fluid we went home.  On Wed. the 29th I went back in and she removed another 120 cc of fluid.  Still no feeling in that area.  Since I knew the offices were going to be closed over the weekend I figured the fluid would slow down and I would be fine till this morning.  Well, that wasn't the case.  I had so much fluid by yesterday that  I was swollen way under my arm and down under my breat area.  My skin was and still is so sensitive and feels like a constant stinging, especailly when anything touches it.  Which means all the time.  This morning when I went in the nurse removed 200 cc of fluid.  She wrapped me really tight with and ace bandage to put more pressure on the sight so that there would be no space for the fluid to fill up.  I do feel much better today but I am still very tender.  I have an appointment with the surgeon on friday and the goal is top have the fluid stopped by then.  I need to go in each mornig to have the nurse check it. 

We also recieved all of the pathology reports back.  The lymph node and tissue they removed were all clear.  This morning the FISH test finally came back with a negative result which means that there was no abnormal protiens on the cells so that means that I will not have to take a medicine every day for the next 5 years.  That will also determine what kind of chemo I will need.  When I get clearance from the surgeon then I will meet with the Oncologist. 

Last week I found out that the Huntsman Cancer institute has wigs availalbe for women who need them.  I stopped there to see if it was true and 45 min. later came home with a cute wig.  It's my same coloring and cloe in style to my hair now.  I had a good talk with grand daughter Elinor (6yr) on New Years morning.  She understands the chemo thing because her stepmoms mother has had chemo.  She asked if my hair was going to fall out and when I told her yes she made ure I was going to get a wig.  I showed her my wig and she thought it was cute.  Yesterday I was talking to her on the phone and she wanted to know if my hair had fallen out yet.  I made sure she knew that I would let her know as soon as it did.  She is so sweet. 

So I'll check in later.  Today has been a lazy day of rest.  Tomorrow will be a part day at work.  We'll see how that goes.  Love you all.

Terri

Dec. 23, 2010

Hello all, I thought I would take a few minutes to update you on our adventure. 

Surgery went very well on Monday the 20th. We found out that when you are in a trauma center your surgery can & does get bumped back for trauma patients that need surgery.  So mine was a bit later in the afternoon.  I came home that night.  They only took out one lymph node and it was clear so they didn’t take any more.  Time wise, surgery was just about 2 hours long.  A few hours later and after a few bouts of nausea and an IV drip bag of fenegren to stop that I was ready to go home.  We got home at about 9pm.  Lortab is my current drug of choice. 

Tuesday I felt great, a false sense of great because yesterday (Wed) I pretty much just slept all day and didn’t feel all so great.  After a good day & night of rest, this morning was much better.  Last night I did have a blood clot in my drainage tube.  We cleared it out but had to go in this morning to have it checked and there was another clot in the tube that we couldn’t see.  After a quick fix from the doctor I was draining quite nicely again.  Hopefully that will all be done by Monday and the tube can come out.   I wasn’t really paying attention as the nurse was removing the dressing.  Then there I was looking at this foreign looking scar on my chest.  It took a second to realize what I was seeing.  I was surprised.  I had imagined that I would have a dramatic mental breakdown the first time seeing myself post surgery.  It wasn’t as bad as I expected but then you really have no idea what to expect.  Maybe later I’ll feel something more than fascination.  Yep. I am fascinated with the whole thing.  I know that I have many good and bad days ahead of me but I know that I can power through.  The body amazes me with its ability to heal and the mind that can quickly accept things for what they are and move on.  Bill didn’t turn green or pass out either.  He has been such strength to me and our kids.  When I have been afraid he has comforted me, let me cry, made me laugh, kept me going, assured me that he does still love me when my thoughts are running wild. 

I do need to keep pacing myself with rest and being up.  I do tire quickly but I also get tired of resting.  I’ve got to work on finding a good balance there.  I’m so grateful for the phone calls, e-mails and notes of support and love.  We do so appreciate them.  The Lord has truly blessed us so far and continues to do so daily.  I told my brother that I can’t call this cancer a blessing yet, but because of it we have been recipients of so many blessings.   Each day I tell myself to look for the new things I’m supposed to learn that day.  I can’t tell you how much I have learned or been reminded of things that I need to be reminded of.. Each day is an adventure now.  I see things in my life differently.  No great life altering, earth shattering differences, just simple things.  I am much more aware of how much I love my family.  I find pure joy in my grand children’s little voices.  I feel more patient, we’ll see if I really am.  I see my children, all adults now, for the amazing adults they are. 

They do have the love of Christ within them as well as their father.  Anyway, I’m truly grateful for the testimony that I have of our Savior Jesus Christ and our Loving Heavenly Father.  I’m so grateful to have the gospel in my life.  I’m so grateful to know that I have a purpose here on this earth and that my Heavenly Father knows me personally by name.  He will never be far from me as long as I am never too far from Him.  I wish the best for everyone this Christmas and hope that you all have a fantastic day.  We love you all.

Terri

So it Begins...

This blog has been set up for the purpose of keeping family and friends informed on Terri's Breast Cancer Adventure. It will be updated by Terri herself, Bill, her husband, and her daughter Casey. This is the email that Terri sent out to family members to let everyone one.

Hello all, I know for some it has been a LONG time since we last spoke or wrote. I’m sorry about that. A few family members know what I’m going to share here but I needed to wait a few days to get all the info I could to inform you all of something that we are now dealing with. If there are those not on my forwarding list that you may want to send this to that would be great.

First, Bill and I have had a rollercoaster ride this last week physically & emotionally. I finally stopped ignoring that little voice that gets in your head when you think you should do something but your stubborn self wants to ignore it. I couldn’t ignore the promptings on the 7^th when I knew I needed to have my doctor check me because I thought I might have found a lump on my left breast. So, he sent me to have a mammogram on Thursday afternoon the 9^th. Within 2 hours I had 2 mammograms, 2 ultra sounds & a biopsy done and received a pretty clear indication that I had breast cancer. After a long 4 ½ days wait for the pathology report to come back I found out officially on Tuesday the 14^th that I do have “invasive ductile carcinoma” Which means that the cancer started in the milk ducts and has gone through them into the surrounding tissue. Sounds pretty scary. It is really the most common type, 80% of all women with BC (breast cancer) have this type. It can be removed with a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. Either way they also remove several lymph nodes at the same time and test them to make sure the cancer has not reached them yet. This type is very treatable with very good results.

We met with a surgeon shortly after getting the official diagnoses and I have chosen for several reasons to have a mastectomy on Monday the 20^th.

I have to say that Connie (and George) has been an angel. I’m sorry that she has gone through the BCA (breast cancer adventure) but she has helped put my mind at ease. She is a wealth of knowledge and has given me confirmation that this is going to be alright. A long adventure but an adventure that we can handle. She is amazing!!! I love her and cannot thank her enough. Bill has been my hero & my strength, it’s A LOT to try to absorb in just a few days and they push you along quickly so that they can get treatment going. He has been my rock when I seriously have been about to break down, all the way along he has been holding me up.

Now that we have the beginning of a plan, I am feeling more in control and much less worried. I also have to acknowledge our Heavenly Fathers hand in all of this. At first all I could pray for was a calm & peace so that I could understand and process all of this. I (we) have felt it so strongly, in spite of my tearful moments. We are very sure of the decisions we have made and I do not fear the future. I know I will be ok at the end of this adventure. There is a lot we have yet to learn and experience but I know that we will be able to get through with His help. I know that he has had his hand in our lives this last

week by the way things have just fallen into place.

Our kids are great; Lucy (Casey’s 2 yr. old) has already added grandma to her daily prayers in which she blesses “Connie & grandma Wings cancer to go away”. She’s been blessing Connie all year.

Not to copy Connie, but I will, I’ll be setting up a blog with updates etc. so that if you want you can check on this adventure we are now undertaking. I’ll let you know what it is in a day or two.

We were given a great blessing tonight. We tried to go to the Tab Choir Christmas concert but traffic was horrible and we were so late that they closed the doors because the building was full and we were not able to go. When we got home we had a message from our Stake President. We called him and he had spoken to Reagans mission Pres. and we were given permission to call Reagan and let him know what is going on. We spoke to him for about 20 min. and he will be joining us in a fast this Sunday. We will be able to talk more when he calls Christmas eve. Again we know that everything is going to be fine.

We love you all and thank you for your love & support. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

Terri & Bill